SCRIPTURE | 1 Peter 3:1–6 ¹In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ²as they observe your pure conduct with fear. ³Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on garments; ⁴but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible quality of a lowly and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. ⁵For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands, ⁶just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children if you do good, NOT FEARING ANY INTIMIDATION.

OBSERVATION | This devotional follows the theme of a wife’s submission. The previous two devotionals open up the topic and its highly recommended that you read or listen to these to learn more about the topic.

In 1 Peter 3:3-6 we will learn first of how the submission of a wife to a sinful husband is an internal character that is eternally precious to God. Then, we learn of how the adornment of godly submission contrast external adornment. Last, we are given a godly example from the Lord in Sarah’s submission.

First, we will learn of the internal command of “the hidden person of the heart” found in verse 4. First let’s study the positive command for the “adornment” of submission. After we will learn of the negative command. The question we seek to answer now is “What does it means to adorn yourself in the hidden person of the heart?”

To answer that we must look back, as we have studied the suffering of wrongs while in submission as a wife to a fallen husband, “without a word (3:1),” with “chaste and respectful behavior (3:2),” which is to be like how Jesus submitted His own life to the hands of sinful men. The opening words of this section directed to wives were “in the same way (3:1).” This points us back to how all true believers are commanded to submit to the sinful authorities of government and employment. Here that same theme is applied “in the same way” to the wife and her husband. However, the Lord adds something unique to describe the good work in the role of the wife. He says of a wife who submits with a “lowly and quiet spirit” she has an “imperishable quality… which is precious in the sight of God (3:4).” That is God’s view of this adornment of submission in the hidden person of the heart.

In other words, God says here that He looks upon this quality in any wife with an extreme and extraordinary value. The Greek used here is polutelēs, which is only used two other times in the New Testament. Once for the “alabaster jar of perfume of very costly pure nard (Mark 14:3).” Also to describe “costly clothing” in 1 Timothy 2:9. In other words, polutelēs is the idea of “being of great value or worth (Louw-Nida Lexicon).” Stop to think about this. This good work in a wife is of great value and worth to God! He… the King of Kings… the ruler of all creation… the Most High God finds women who submit to their imperfect & fallen husbands to be of great worth! Now that is saying something truly amazing.

Nowhere else in scripture is such a high description given to the deeds of God’s people. Not of men who lead well. Not of rulers who only exercise their authority according to God’s righteous Word. Only the humble and quiet submission of a wife is said to be of a very high worth to God. Perhaps it is because of the costly self-sacrifice that is required of the wife.

Do we view submission today with such high worth? Is that how the gift of humility in a wife is appraised by the church of our day? Is this even taught when the church follows Jesus words and “makes disciples of all nations… teaching them to obey all that I commanded you (Matt 29:19-20)?”

Sadly, if it is taught it is only by few in our day. Instead many churches actually teach that God does not value our good works at all. That we are “free” from God’s commands and ways. Such people need to look at how such a statement flies in the face of our verse today. In fact, they need to wake up to the reality that they are totally contradicting and bearing false witness against God Himself who values this good work so highly.

Instead here we learn of how the Lord graciously gives such an extraordinary value to the quality of gentle submission. He not only says this godly character is “precious in the sight of God” but that it is “imperishable” or “incorruptible.” This is the word aphthartos in the original language, and another possible translation could even be “immortal.” That is to say, such godly character in a wife is a good work that has an everlasting, eternal or immortal quality to it.

Our world, and even the modern church, have lost themselves in feministic language that deceives women to not follow God’s pattern for wives, but to live for themselves free from what they call “oppression” in the headship and authority God assigns to the role of a husband. The Lord reveals how much of a lie such teaching is here. What He is saying is that following the lead of a husband, who is of course a fallen sinner, that this a character that will matter into all eternity and God Himself ascribes it with a great value. Here we learn of how the Lord of all encourages wives as they submit to Him in the difficult role of putting up with sinful husbands who fail and make mistakes. Here we see the grace of God applied to those women who through humility and quiet submission show the grace of God to all who see them behave in such a way.

The second lesson we learn from 1 Peter 3 is of the external and negative-restrictive command. Here the positive adornment a woman is called to in the “hidden person of the heart” and the negative command against external adornment stand together.

We must be careful with such contrasts that we do not zero the focus of a text like this to the internal or external alone. In doing so commentators and Christian leaders have nullified the other side of God’s command, and on one side the aim is to make it less offensive. How would this command be offensive? For those who are visibly adorning themselves, as the internal is “hidden.”  Yes, if one is merely obedient to the externals it is hypocrisy. But, if one is merely obedient to the internals it is disobedience to the full council of God given in both the internal and external commands.

You can see evidence of this desire in how some translators have softened verse 3 by adding the word “merely” (LSB, NASB, NKJV). This word and how it transforms the meaning of the text is absent from the original writings of this verse. The better translation would literal read “do not let your adorning be external.” This is a direct command given by our Lord, which ought never to be annulled or altered by man. Especially by adding the word “merely” to soften the sharpness of His statement. So you might ask “Are wives commanded not to adorn themselves externally at all?”

Well, a command needs to be understood rightly through study. And another word that will give us understanding is the word “adorning,” which is the Greek word kosmos. This is most often translated as the “created universe” or “world.” While at first this may seem odd, further study of the word reveals it’s ideas of that which is established, assembled, constructed, or set in order (The Theological Dictionary of the New Testament). To “adorn” is defined as “to enhance the appearance especially with beautiful objects” (Meriam-Webster). This enhancement is done through assembling objects, or setting the hair in a particular order, or as we would say style. Thus, we can see the connection of the word cosmetics with the ordering of the kosmos, as adornment is the ordering which adds to or enhances beauty.

So then, a literal translation of the beginning of verse 3 would read “Your enhancing and adding to your beauty is not to be external.” Now we see the main imperative of the text found in verse 4 could be summarized as “let your adorning (kosmos) be the hidden person of the heart.” Again in this internal-imperative we dare not nullify the other side which is external and “must not be.”

This then is another example of the rule of faith, for when the scripture interprets the scripture, it cannot nullify itself. For the God who breathed out every word cannot contradict Himself or make errors. Thus, if there is a difficulty in a text of scripture (such as “you adornment must not be external”) the difficulty lies with our understanding. Or more so the difficulty lies in our difficulty and resistance to the Word of God’s opposition to our way of think or living. Sadly, the all too common result of missing this rule of faith is that verses that contradict our way of living and thinking are re-interpreted to be less corrective. Such as by adding “merely” to this verse, or they are nullified by teachers to not apply at all, like by teaching that this passage is concerned with the internal and not the external.

Why create such loopholes and dulling of the Word? Because this is a difficult text for women who have grown up in our godless culture that is fixated on external adornment. Because too many lack bold confidence in the difficulties when they are teaching the Word. They would rather have a large crowd that is comfortable, then a small group who experiences opposition from those opposed to the corrections of God’s Word.

So, let us study the external command carefully, because we know it is difficult. In our studies lets be careful not to soften God’s correction and rebuke of our times and of our way of thinking and living. God is lying down a restriction, yes. What is it? A restriction that women cannot externally adorn themselves altogether? It seems so. Is that the full picture though? No. We have not looked at the specifics that are given next. What do the specifics say? A literally translation would be very helpful. The end of verse 3 in the Greek literally reads “Your decorating and adding to your beauty is not to be external… braiding hair, and wearing gold, or putting on clothing.”

Did you catch anything odd there? It would seem that God is telling women not to adorn themselves externally by putting on clothing? Is God commanding women not to wear clothes? Obviously not. If godly women are restricted from “putting on clothing” we would have a contradiction with the divine command given 1 Timothy 2:9. There women are instructed “to adorn themselves with proper clothing.” So, again we learn of the importance of the rule of faith, we must understand the external restriction within the context of the rest of scripture.

When we use scripture to interprets scripture we learn the true heart and will of God, instead of stumbling in our feeble understandings. Because this external restriction is seemingly contradicted in another passage, we know that our initial understanding is off the mark. In other words, God is not straight out restricting the external “braiding of hair, wearing of gold, or putting on of clothing.” So how do we solve seeming contradictions in our study of scripture? We study more, being careful that our aim is not just to soften something difficult to our ears. Seeking the answer God gives, not necessarily the one we want. Because remember, the difficulty is not in our discomfort with the command of 1 Peter 3:3, but in how it seems to contradict to 1 Timothy 2:9.

If we study our text further, something from the verse itself clarifies the command, and it does so in such a way that it not only removes the apparent contradiction, but so that both 1 Timothy 2:9 and 1 Peter 3:3 actually build on one another. In the word we’ve reviewed we find the answer “kosmos,” or in english “adornment.”

Here the understanding of kosmos as decorating, adding to, or even accessorizing beauty is rightly understood as what is happening in the “braiding hair, wearing gold, putting on clothing.” In other words, the two statements are parallel. The second part of verse 3 is a restatement of the first part. God is then teaching women that external additions are not to be done to adorn themselves, which means to increase their beauty.

Let’s look at some examples here. If a woman with long hair finds it very practical to braid it while she is working in the garden or making dinner, is she adorning herself? If a woman wears a down right plain item made of gold which is simply for sentimental reasons like it belonging to a deceased relative or being a family heirloom, is that adornment. Like when a daughter wears a special ring that perhaps was mother’s wedding ring which she holds dear after her mother dies, is that adornment. So, we see even clothing can be worn too, especially “proper clothing,” which had not been added to the externals of a woman to enhance her beautify.  The reality is, this restriction of such adornment is fitting to both godly men and godly women alike. However, the focus here is of women, as it is the contrast to the highly valued adornment of the quiet submission of a wife.

Such is the love and grace of God, that He would command us to walk a different way than the worldlings way of cosmetics. He would call women away from the stumbling block of temptation in investing time and resources to gain a false sense of beauty from external enhancements to their beauty.

Of course, as with all things one might use such truth as a loop hole by claiming that their clothing, jewelry or hair is not adornment for beatification. It happens. Many who claim Christ have and continue to abuse the will of God revealed in scripture by hypocritical abuse of His Word. And just as Jesus taught, those who do such things will have their rewards on earth from the praise of men, instead of the praise of the Father in heaven (Matt 6:1-6).

Our third lesson from 1 Peter 3:3-6 is found in God giving the example of Sarah’s internal beauty, which the Lord value’s highly. What is the example? She “obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.” (1 Peter 3:6) Such words are putrid to our feminist world. A wife is to “obey” her husband? How dare we say such a thing! Yet here we have in God’s Word another commendation of humble and gentle submission. How so? God lifts up such women as examples of “holy women” and as those “who hope in God” (v.5). God commends a wife’s obedience to her sinful husband as her God given head.

In the same way, He sets up the example of Sarah calling her husband “lord.” Now, in our culture we don’t use the word “lord” except to refer to the one who is “Lord.” For the Savior, His Lordship has become more than a title, but also a name. In other words, Jesus is the ultimate Lord of all (Acts 10:36). So, calling a husband “lord” seems awkward in that way already. However, “in former times,” royalty who led and cared for their people, were called lords. It was a term of respect and submission for someone in authority. Now think about this. Isn’t that exactly why a wife calling her husband “lord” is such a repulsive and offensive idea today? Yet here we learn that before God, speaking with such respect as to call a husband “lord,” and obeying with such obedience that it is humility of the heart… such is precious and of great worth in God’s sight.

The result? The encouragement for a wife who would follow God’s design this way? The Lord says “you have become her children if you do good.” What good is he talking about? A wife obeying her husband and speaking to him with such respect as to call him lord. In other words, this is “good” in God’s eyes. This makes you the child of one who the Lord sets up as an example of holy and humble submission.

In closing, let me warn all men who read this. If any one of you is married to a woman who faithfully obeys God’s will by being submissive even in the least of ways, you have been given a gift to care for, are responsible for one who God highly values. Do you get that? Don’t you dare abuse your role. Humble yourself, and only lead as the way our Lord did, by emptying himself and leading for his brides good and for God’s glory. More on that in the next devotional from 1 Peter 3:7.

APPLICATION | Have I bought into the ways of thinking of our feministic and godless culture? Do I exalt the freedom and self-promotion of women? Or do I exalt the example of humble, gentle and quiet-godly submission? Do I value what God values, or what the world values? Do I teach these teachings to my daughters, to my church, to myself despite their contradictions to the ways of our age? Do I adorn myself externally with a desire to increase my beauty? Or do I adorn the hidden person of my heart with the true beauty of gentle submission? How much time do I spend each day on each? Do I reject the idea of Sarah “obeying” her husband and calling him by a respectful title of authority like “lord” or do I cherish and value such behavior the same way God does?

If your mind and heart are against scripture, the only answer is to repent. Believe in the truth of God’s holy Word and walk on its now ancient path. Jesus died to forgive you of your rebellion, yet those who have been forgiven are to turn away from their own ways. They are never to “trample under foot the Son of God” and “insult the Spirit of Grace” by continuing in sin because they are forgiven (Hebrews 10:29).

PRAYER | Father, make me into the woman or man You desire that I be according to the authority of Your Word. Give me a faith that fully trusts in all of Your word, so that I might break free of the lies of our wicked and perverse culture and walk in Your ancient ways. I confess that these teachings are difficult, because they are so foreign to the thinking of our times. So, put eternity on my heart, so that I might store up for myself treasure in heaven by living for Your glory and pleasure. So that I might be a God glorifying wife or husband, by fulfilling the divine roles You have created according to Your Holy Word. So that I might not live for my own desires and glory, but for your glory alone, in all things. Amen.