SCRIPTURE | 1 Peter 3:1 — In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands

OBSERVATION | Our first lesson of 1 Peter 3:1 is found in the opening phrase “in the same way.” This instructs us to look back to the “way” Jesus righteously suffered that was taught just before this (1 Pt 2:21-25). As we look there, we also look back to how Jesus way of suffering is given as the example of “being subject… to every human institution (2:13).” Here in chapter 3, we find ourselves continuing on the same topic, applied to the specific institution of “you wives” and “your own husbands.”

As a recap then, we’ve been taught to be subject to authorities over us despite their crookedness, mistreatment, causing sorrow, inflicting unrighteous suffering, and treating us harshly. (2:1-20) This instruction was then given as an example of Jesus’ response to the wrongs He suffered with righteousness, instead of reviling or threatening (2:23). In other words, like Jesus, true believers are not to take an eye for an eye to bring about their own justice. Instead, we trust the judgment of all wrongs to the hands of God (2:23). Now, within the most foundational and central relationship of society of marriage, these lessons are applied. It is a picture of a wife’s undeserved grace, mercy and submission for and because of the Lord, not because of the behavior of her husband.

The second lesson from our text, is found in the possession in the command “wives be submissive to your own husbands.” (1 Pt 3:1) Notice the possessive language of “your own.” The husband belongs to the wife and the wife to the husband. They are fully unified and one. “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Mt 19:6)

In this, the unity and roles of the three in one God are seen. The Son’s role is to submit to the Father’s will (Matt 26:42). Yet, the Son is exalted for it, not be little’d or diminished in any way. Contrary to this, our culture has created a negative and even repulsive view of submission and headship. If this cultural teaching of submission is held by the church, applied to the marriage roles, so too its applied to the roles of the trinity. In this we see the danger of this modern feminist view, as it is not only contrary to God’s teaching of roles in marriage, but contrary to who God is. Such a negative view of submission then destroys the identity of the Father and the Son. It is thus a teaching of the spirit of the antichrist at work in our age. Like Jesus and the Father, the role of the wife to her own husband is fully unified. Like the trinity, these roles are in a relationship that is fully equal as well as still being fully submissive of the one to the other, to the glory of God.

The third lesson taught is that the call to submission is given to wives to “be submissive to your own husbands.” In a positive way, the wife is here called to be submission uniquely and exclusively to one man. However, there are some biblical positions of authority according to the authority of God’s Holy Word. For example, all are to subject to “governors” and “kings.” (1 Pt 2:13-17) These are the civil magistrates of government, like police and lawmakers. Obedience is also commanded for God’s people to Church elders who “keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account.” (Heb 13:17) These are the spiritual leaders who both care and lead those in God’s kingdom.

Concerning authority and submission further, the command is also given that women neither teach or exercise authority over men. (1 Tim 2:12) Here, the context points back to the order of creation and order of the fall (1 Tim 2:13-14) making this divine order and restriction apply to all of mankind, universally. For every man and woman is part of God’s creation and lives under the realities of the fall. On the other side, there is a teaching and authority role given to women. It is the high calling of raising up the next generation through child rearing (1 Tim 2:15; 2 Tim 1:5) and leading and teaching other women (Titus 2:3-5). In these specific roles, women have divinely been given what is the greatest opportunity to impact the future, by taking the most primary position of raising the next generation. A wife then submits uniquely and exclusively to one man, “their own husband.”

Fourth, we may learn a lesson from the exclusive call to “be submissive to your own husbands” that is the provision and protection of God for the family. Now in a negative way, this restrictive submission is to a wife’s “own husband,” which then restricts a wife from submitting to others. This is a call to obey within the command of exclusive leadership. A wife has no other head. Just as Jesus submits to no other authority than the Father. What happens then when a wife takes the role as headship and leads her husband? Is this not disobedience to God and a reversal of God’s design?  This was the sin of Eve, to lead her husband. As well as the sin of Adam, to be submissive to the lead of his wife.

What then is it when a wife has someone else leading her? When a wife is submissive to someone who is not her “own husband?” Meaning someone outside of the biblical governing authority of magistrates (aka kings and governors) and the biblical authority of the elders of the church. When any other submission takes place, no longer is the wife being “submissive to her own husband.” Is this not what happens when a wife works outside of the home under someone else’s authority?

So, we see the evidence here of God’s command for women to be “workers at home (Titus 2:5).” Only when working in the home will a woman not be under the authority of someone other than her husband. Now, there is enough content in scripture to write a book about the fall out in our age from rejecting this divine structure of the home. God’s design has been abandoned and opposed and is understood as an abomination even to those within the so-called church.

The industrial revolution and the women’s liberation movement have been blindly embraced by the church without measuring the biblical implications. At one time not so long ago, the majority of families would operate family businesses working together under the headship of the husband and father. Of course, there were some poor who could not, and some prosperous who provided opportunity for the poor. But the majority of husbands, wives and children engaged in a business together. The divine command of the exclusive submission of the wife, and obedience of the children was in those cases able to be kept intact. Much love, unity and blessing resulted in obedience to God’s design. Here we see brought to light one sin the modern church has refused to repent of, as it’s blindly embraced the culture and the times as the authoritative lord of truth in its life and faith.

Of course there are new modern approaches to scripture that take women who worked in the home and say “see women worked.” They thus apply their modern interpretation to texts that had never been understood as a license to disobey other commands like Titus 2:3-5. Notice, they were never contradicted, unless the culture taught a contradictory way.

Now, if you see this and recognize the sin of disobeying God’s design in your own family, repentance is the simple answer. However, it is a major life change and can be complex. If your family has been used to two incomes for any period of time, many other steps must be taken to learn to live on one. Work together as a family to learn to live with less treasure of the earth. Actively work toward cutting excess from your lives. True repentant is a life change, and this biblical design will require obedience in many other financial areas of your life. Don’t give up or numb your conscience. Cling to scripture and  “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” with a true love for God and desire to glorify Him in all things.

APPLICATION | Am I a wife who is submissive to my husband “in everything (Eph 5:24),” because the Lord is worthy, despite my husband not being worthy? Am I a wife who submits to other headships and authorities in employment or influence that the scripture does not permit? Such as employment outside of the roles of the home? Repent if you are. Turn to the ancient path, the same pattern as Jesus exclusive submission to His Father.

Am I a husband who demands submission from my wife? Do I overlord myself over her? Do I lead for personal gain and fleshly desire? Or do I lead as a selfless, self-sacrificial offering of love for her, just as Christ was for the church (Eph 5:25-33). Repent if you are not leading righteously in the pattern of Jesus love for the Church. Turn to the ancient path of God’s design for healthy, godly, and God glorifying headship.

PRAYER | Father, many events in the past 150 years have drawn people away from Your ways, so that they have become ancient. Open our eyes to the influence and power of our culture. Soften our hearts to be completely submissive to You and Your ways no matter how foreign and strange they may seem. Give us a love for You that says “Your will be done, on earth, and in my life, as it is in heaven.” You perfect and holy will. Break the hardness of our sinful heart that long to do things our own ways. So that we may return to Your ancient paths, seeking Your glory alone in all things. Amen.