SCRIPTURE | 1 Peter 3:7 “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”
OBSERVATION | As we continue the study of 1 Peter 3:7, we learn another lesson in how the husband is to “live with” his wife with day by day godliness. He is to “live with” her “in an understanding way, as a weaker vessel, since she is a woman.” Now, this is a very simple statement, yet it gives many readers difficulties in the current age of feminism. “As with” is added by some translators before “a weaker vessel” making the statement easier to swallow. However, this is not original from the Greek, but is an added interpretation.
So, in the midst of discomfort within our culture we approach the Holy Word of God, of which “all scriptures (lit. writings)” are “breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness…” (2 Tim 3:16) Which means ever single word written is inspired by God. It means that every single word teaches those who need to learn of truth. Every word reproves those who are not believing or obeying. It means every word is given for correction, which means to place those on the wrong path onto the right one. It means every word written trains us how to live in righteousness according to those words. In other words, the statement, “as a weaker vessel, since she is a woman” is word by word written by God for His purposes and glory. We ought to never then take a seemingly difficult writing from Him like this and say it is cultural, it doesn’t apply, or we don’t interpret it that way, simply because it teaches, reproves, corrects, and trains us to believe and do something contrary to what is acceptable in our current culture. To approach God’s Word in those ways is the way of subjective truth and making God in our own image, instead of being made into the image of God.
We are to become like Him, we are to follow His ways, instead of finding a way to make difficult teachings of scripture to fit what we like, how we live and what is most comfortable to us.
Yet, even when in faith we accept God’s teaching that “women,” or more likely here “wives,” are somehow the “weaker vessel,” there still remains a question of what does God mean by “a weaker vessel?” In study we can find a verity of explanations, which we will align in this study with the different meanings of the word “weaker” given in Greek lexicons. We will study first the meaning of physical weakness versus physical strength. Second we will study weakness as a state of limited capacity, as in a powerless-ness. Third we look at weakness in its meaning of a helpless condition, which we will relate to being easily deceived.
The first, and most popular explanation is that women are “weaker” in their physical strength and physical size. Which is a general reality and not necessarily true across the board. This view can be found only vaguely within divine revelation in the distinct difference of the creation of man and woman (Gen 1:26; 2:18; 1 Cor 11:7–9). However, through natural revelation we find this to be a commonly true observation. Men are most often physically stronger then women. The problem however with understanding “weaker” as merely physical, is that it is not a clearly taught doctrine elsewhere in scripture. However, there is more authority in one Word from God then in all the books and teachings of the world. It’s most clear in natural revelation (observation of creation), but not divine (the Holy Word of God). Yet still, if physical weakness is the meaning of “weaker vessel,” then this is a command of protection. God is declaring it is the husband’s duty to keep his wife safe from physical harm, from both others and from the husband himself. So that a husband who loves, fears and obeys the Lord learns to never dominate over his wife physically, and ensure she is not hurt.
The second, explanation given of the description of the wife or woman as “weaker,” is that it is in reference to her role of submission and the husbands role of headship. Like Jesus, the wife willingly limits her capacity and power of authority. Her husband is her leader and she is his follower. Now this possibility is the most fitting. First, because unlike the physical weakness which isn’t directly taught by the Word, the role of authority and submission are not only taught repeatedly, but were in just taught before this (1 Pet 3:5-6).
Anyone who submits themselves to another takes the “weaker” role, such as an employee to their employer, or a believer as a slave to the Master and Lord. In this way, God is commanding the husband to “live in an understanding way” of her submission, by never abusing his God given role as the head of his wife. To live in an “understanding way,” then is to be a thoroughly considerate husband of the vulnerability the submission his wife is in by God’s authority. In this way, we learn that a husband who abuses his headship for selfish gain or any other reason, violates God’s protective order of the wife. So here again we find this as a command of protection for the wife. A command to every day “live” in a way that takes her “weakness” in submission to his own authority very serious. So that the role of headship is lived out for her good and God’s glory.
The Third explanation found, is that it is also possible that “weaker vessel” is in reference to the biblical teaching that women are more easily influenced or deceived. This fits the meaning of the word for “weaker” in the sense of a helpless condition. As 1 Timothy 2:14 says, “it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into trespass.” This statement is given as the reason God restricts all women from teaching or exercising authority over all men (1 Tim 2:12-14). Thus the reference of Eve’s deception is applied as a reason all women are “not allowed to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.”
This meaning of “weaker vessel” is again a command of protection placed in the duty of all husbands. It means a husband is to be especially cautious and full of care in leading his wife well, and not becoming frustrated at her misleading’s or allowing them to mislead him. He is to “live with her in an understanding way” by helping her through anything that deceives her by pointing her to the absolute truths of God with both grace and patience. He is to “wash her with the water of the Word.” (Eph 5:26)
Each of these possibilities are biblical, and are also great lessons for any husband. So, it could be that God intended to keep the idea of “weaker vessel” vague so that in all of the ways a wife is in a weaker position the husband is to be understanding. He is to “understand” these realities, and not to exploit them, and not to become upset or angered by any of her weaknesses. Instead he is to be “understanding” of her by following his divine duty to protect, care for and give grace to her.
It is important to note that the grammar is written in such a way that the “weaker” reality of the wife is true “because” or “since she is a woman.” That is, it is rooted in her womanhood. This makes the command for the husband as inescapable and unchangeable as his wife’s gender. In other words protecting her from others and his own sinful self will always be his duty for as long as he and she live.
APPLICATION | For the ladies: Does my husband know that I expect him to protect me in these ways? If I am unmarried, do I pray and watch for a potential suitor who will humbly protect me from his own self and boldly protect me from others? Does my husband know I am following my duty of submission and therefore willingly allowing myself to be “weaker” for God’s glory? Do I ask my husband to help me understand the scriptures so that I will not be deceived?
For the men: Do I meditate on and memorize scriptural passages that God can use to effectively curb and put to death my selfish desires? So that I will not abuse my role as head of my wife or wife to be? Have I ever physically confronted, challenged or hurt my wife? Have I ever allowed others to do so? Do I become frustrated with others (especially my wife’s) misleadings or deceptions so that I cannot patiently and humbly teach the truth? (See 2 Tim 2:24-26) Am I humbly leading my wife for God’s glory according to God’s design, or am I dominating over her according to my own desires?
For all who are failing to submit themselves to the authority of God’s Word in these ways, repent. Turn in faith to the Savior who forgives you IF you confess your sins. Allow Jesus to wash your previous failures in these areas. Then submit to His Lordship of your life and begin to live according to His will and ways. No matter how ancient they may seem in our days.
PRAYER | Father, I have not obeyed your will as I ought. Either in my marriage, or outside of it in preparation for it. Teach me to be submissive, however, where ever and whenever you call me to according to your will. So that as a husband I can live with my wife in an understanding way in her submission, so that as a wife I can have faith in your design for my marriage. As a husband give me the boldness to protect my wife, from others physically, or by their deceptions, or in her submission. That she would be safe both from my sinful and selfish flesh, and safe from all others as well. I devote myself more zealously to Your Word, so that You will and ways would be accomplished through me, for Your glory alone. Amen
